Creating Actually “Happy Holidays!”

-Kyndel Marcroft, LCSW

Have you ever run the marathon of the Christmas season build up to finally fall into exhaustion and dread on Christmas Eve where you know you will be awake into the night to create “just the perfect Christmas scene” for the kids? Have you ever woken up the day after Christmas feeling a little depressed and let down? Although the holidays offer many opportunities for social connection, family time, service to others, glitter and tinsel, caroling, brightly covered packages it can be some of our biggest causes of stress. Perceptions of Christmas and how it “should” be, as well as the end of year demands of work, church obligations, and family conflict often create a mountain of chronic stress that can ultimately lead to symptoms of depression. Enjoying the holidays is exactly what each of us want but because of stress and symptoms of depression, often get through the Holidays more like an episode of “Survivor.” Did you know that stress is considered one of the major contributors to depression? Extended high stress leads to elevated hormones like cortisol, the "stress hormone," and reduces serotonin and other neurotransmitters in the brain, including dopamine, which has been linked to depression in several studies. High stress can actually equal it being a depressive Holiday, not a “Happy Holiday.”

How do we “thrive” during the Holidays, not just “Survive?” We begin by building mental and emotional resiliency. What is resiliency? It’s the ability to face the challenges and stressors of life with a sense of awareness, compassion for self and others, and earned inner strength. It’s the ability to discern between the things that are not important, and the things that are, and make decisions in accordance with those things that fit our values. These qualities can be grown in each of us through intentioned living and learning. For example, coming into the holidays there many choices of where to put our resources both with time, monetarily, and physically. One helpful hint is to practice not ever answering on the spot when you are asked to do something. “Let me think about that and I’ll get back to you.” This buys you time to pause and think about what you need to thrive and not take on things that do not fit with good self-care. Be deliberate about your time and opportunities to give and weigh those with your energy level and other commitments. It is OKAY to say “No.” The skill of saying “No” is a resiliency skill and requires mindfulness in your decision making.

Take a breath… realize that the most important part of your Christmas contribution to anyone is you.

Resiliency is also built on the knowledge that you are enough as you are! The chronic stress of always working to prove your worth to others by buying everyone you know a gift, or over-functioning to create a “perfect Christmas” is often a recipe for depression. Take a breath… realize that the most important part of your Christmas contribution to anyone is you. Things break, fruit cake rots, memories fade, but the relationship you have with the people you love will be what matters in the end. Let go of the idea that you must be something other than you are in order to make Christmas memorable. Buy less, do less, Be present more.
Finally, I want to emphasize the importance of rest and play this Holiday Season. Take some intentioned time to rest your mind and your body as well as laugh play and be a kid again. The go go go of the Holidays is not conducive to reflection and self-care so be proactive about setting aside some time to rest. The effects of rest are a clear mind, calmer body, and a sense of control and awareness. The effects of play are the positive release of good hormones to balance and energize your body. Imagine not just going into the Holidays with energy and hope but coming out of the holidays to face the new year with energy and hope! That sounds pretty good to me! Cheers to a peaceful, energized, and hopeful Holiday Season!
If you find yourself in a funk and feel symptoms of depression or you are grieving a loss during the Holidays, please don’t hesitate to reach out for ideas and support.

Merry Christmas, Kyndel and the BPC Team.

Upcoming Groups in January

Womens Self-Esteem Group

Tuesday Evenings for 8 Weeks

Limited Space Available

Teen Support Group

Wednesday Evenings for 8 Weeks

Limited Space Available

Call Best Practice Counseling for more info to sign up
801-988-9807