Manage Your Stress: A Simple Technique by Ryan D. Turner, LCSW February 1, 2019

Under some stress? The following thoughts may have crossed your mind… “I wish I could feel more in control of how I use my time!” or “By the time I get to the end of the day, I never feel like I’ve done enough.” or “I lose track of what I’m doing ALL THE TIME, all day long.”

As a mental health counselor, the majority of people I work with on a daily basis tell me that they have these kinds of thoughts and emotions. If you do too, you are not alone. Let me explain what’s probably going on inside your brain when you feel this.

Our brain likes to make sense of what’s going on around us, and it honestly does the best it knows how. Depending on how your parents, friends, school teachers, family, etc. taught you growing up to deal with stress, you may or may not have received the education or know-how to mange it very well. Don’t beat yourself up. Trust me, give yourself a break. Accept where you’re at, and start learning today some new strategies. Your brain just wants to make you feel in control and safe. So, let’s teach it how.

The following “technique” comes from a type of psychotherapy called Internal Family Systems. This technique will help you learn how to manage the part of your brain that wants to stress out about everything, all day long. As you practice it, your awareness and control of your own thoughts will significantly improve. I’ve seen it work time and time again.

AT ROUTINE PARTS OF YOUR DAY, STOPWHAT YOU’RE DOING AND BREATHE 3 TIMES DEEPLY AND SLOWLY….

Do this during… Notice your… Notice your…

ROUTINES KNEE-JERK EMOTIONS DELIBERATE EMOTIONS

Getting into the Car Anxious Excited

Stopping At A Red Light Frustrated Peaceful

Unlocking the front door Tired Relieved

Answering the Phone Annoyance Curiosity

Opening the fridge Impatient Satisfied/Satiated

Checking phone notifications Boredom Gratitude

Noticing 3 slow and deep breaths may produce different results each time you do it - depending on your mood, time of day, your location, or situation you’re in, etc. -but overall it will help you be more in control of your schedule, to-do lists, run-away thoughts, emotions, and social interactions. Instead of feeling tense, impatient, frustrated, or discouraged, you will begin noticing more feelings of openness, clarity, and love. Negative and positive emotions are both possible-it’s up to you.

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