COVID-19 Emotional Marathon Training
COVID-19 Emotional Marathon Training
By Kyndel Marcroft, LCSW
Anyone who has run a marathon knows that during the race there are numerous ups and downs and periods where your mind and body want to give up and go home. Many runners term that experience “the wall” and for good reason as it seems to be the pivotal point where we stop and give up or we dig deeper and go on. The wall seems daunting and is often the cause of discouragement and despair but, if a runner is able to press on, the wall becomes smaller and often disappears. It seems that many have hit “the wall” when it comes to the pandemic of COVID-19. There is exhaustion from living a life that is so different, often limited, and full of the unknowns. I have seen people feeling deep despair, to full frustration over mask wearing, having to homeschool their kids while juggling employment and bills. Life is different. Because it is different it feels hard, and maybe even harder than normal. It is. By now I think we might all agree that we are in the middle of a global trauma with the definition of trauma being “anything that happens to us that we weren’t prepared for at the time.” Sounds about right. There is heightened anxiety, frustration and thereby there is more conflict. Fear being masked as anger, and indignancy, pain being masked as disdain and disgust. When we are functioning out of fear and pain it is so easy to disconnect and see others as objects particularly with social media where we are one screen removed from real communication and therefore respect. We are tired.
In a marathon you have several choice points along the way… stay in the race, push harder, rest and then move forward, slow your pace, gather motivation from the connection of those around you, or quit. In this global pandemic pushing harder, or quitting are not viable options, so working on our pandemic pacing is key and possibly the best option for making it to the finish line during this time. It might be a while so hold on and get resilient. Balancing effort and commitment with rest and repose is the first key to our pandemic success story. Because of the difficulty of the stressors we feel we need more rest than normal so we must slow our pace. This will require compassion for self and the ability to set boundaries in healthy ways. Setting aside precious daily time to meditate, breathe, and pray allows the brain to calm and the nervous system to reset. Taking time to do this will allow your body and brain to heal. You are worth it. Commit to calm by recognizing the distress you feel, accept it, understand it, and provide compassion for it then work to change it by getting off of social media or limiting your exposure to both social media and the news. Set time limits to these distractions and ENGAGE in your life as it is.
The pandemic has created a serious threat to our social and emotional connectedness that might be contributing to any feelings of isolation, sadness, depression, and withdrawal. Being emotionally connected to others can be very motivating when we are running this marathon of COVID-19. We need each other. We need one another’s understanding, compassion, and patience. We need cheerleaders on our side to push and to comfort us. We need those willing to run with us, walk with us, or sit with us when the going gets tough. What we don’t need is each other’s criticism, judgement, anger, or ambivalence. Think compassionately before you speak, think kindly before you respond on any social media or in person. Sometimes our own fear and anger bleed out onto others. Recognize, own, and learn from your mistakes when it comes to connection. Follow the motto to not speak or write anything unless it is “kind.” Reach out through kind texts, letters, cards, or emails to those you feel might need that connection and even those who you think don’t need it. We all do. To heal the aftermath of this trauma we will need one another and we will need emotional vulnerability and emotional safety like we have never seen.
This is a marathon that none of us expected or wanted to run but here we are. There is no blame because blame keeps us stuck in the past. There is only the present and the recognition that we are in the race and that we are steadily moving forward. Take breaks as needed, refuel, rehydrate, cover blisters, and change shoes if needed but press on. If you are drowning in fear and hopelessness or anger, you are not alone. Please don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Regardless of circumstances we as humans can be a team and share the load. We at Best Practice Counseling are committed to helping our fellow travelers create that circle of support. Call 801-988-9807.