How to get through those Holiday Blues, By Lori Stroup
The holidays can be a special time for family and loved ones, and celebrating traditions and making memories. However, for these same reasons, the holidays can be a difficult season for many people. Hearing the words, “Happy Holidays,” or “Merry Christmas” can make stomachs churn and skin crawl. For some, Thanksgiving dinner with the family is not exactly something to look forward to. The prospect of sharing a meal with relatives elevates symptoms of anxiety and stress rather than perpetuating feelings of joy and belonging. Others dread Christmas because it marks another year without that special loved one. It can seem absolutely unbearable facing loss and loneliness during a cold and dark time of year when everyone else seems to be frolicking in bliss. The New Year reminds others of many failed attempts of New Year’s resolutions or other broken promises to self. Guilt, regret, and shame are common as the days to the New Year are counted down.
If you feel flooded by feelings of loneliness, anxiety, depression, anger, or grief during the holidays, please know you are not alone. This is the most difficult time of year for many people. If this describes you in any way, I offer a few suggestions that I hope will be helpful:
Give yourself permission to feel your feelings. It won’t help if you feel bad for feeling bad. You feel the way you feel because your experiences were important and real. Its okay to feel! You are not bad, even if you don’t like the holidays...or your family.
Honor your feelings. Do something creative and symbolic to commemorate the way you experience the holidays. Create a feelings ornament: http://www.whatsyourgrief.com/holiday-grief-activity-for-kids-teens/
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- Process your feelings by talking to someone. Talk to a friend, or a counselor. Often by talking to a safe and trusted person we gain perspective on our situation, and can even learn new coping strategies. What’s shareable is bearable. Cliche. I know. But its true. Don’t go it alone!